Can you say "out of control"?

Just a brief justification:-) I wrote the controversial blog yesterday because when I took my sweet 3 year old for his speech session the teacher read him a book on Halloween, so I was inspired:-D


For today though, it has been 4 days since the biggest help of my life has been gone on his jauntings in Liberia. I miss him dearly and desperately. My household is more than out of control at times. My 5 year old who thrives on chaos and response, my 3 year old that gets frustrated from not being understood, and because he's still going through developmental fits, and my 1 year old that just wants to be held all the time expressing it by whining. all of them "playing" off each other. YIKES. It took us 2 hours to finish Ethan's school today, while he fought the urge play with his siblings on the floor-right by our feet, and I fought the urge to just let him. He always wants to do his own thing, and tell me "just let me do what I want". He has such a strong personality. Sometimes I just want to let him do whatever, because I get so tired of having to take him back to the room for alone time when he talks back, hits his brother/sister, yells at me, it gets OLD. But I can not leave him to himself for he will bring me shame. A child left to himself will be sure to bring his mother shame.......idk the bible address for that one.

My 3 year old was such a sweet baby, he is still sweet, just VERY high maintenance. He wants someone to lay down with him at night and rub his back to put him to sleep. He wants endless sippy cups filled with milk. He poops his pants still and wipes poopy on my walls, If he is hungry right now he wants you to make him food RIGHT NOW. He gets picked on by Ethan and doesn't know how to stand up for himself, running to me crying with every skirmish. I suppose this is what everyone wants. Everything right now, the only difference is that adults don't SCREAM or they do it in other ways.

Now onto my 1 year old. My sweet, sweet baby girl. She can do no harm lol. Except add to the chaos.

To bring things around a little, speak some life, and add a positive side:
My 5 year old still likes to snuggle, gives hugs and kisses, tells me he loves me ALL the time, is very thoughtful with helping me, likes to pray and worship, tells me I'm the BEST teacher, he is extremely witty, intelligent, and eats almost anything I set on the table.

My 3 year old is making progress with the poopy problems, sounds so cute when he tries to talk, is as HUGE as a 5 year old and still expects me to pick him up, likes to play mommy and baby bird in a nest, asks me to run with him when we play outside(not Ethan :-p), wants me to lay with him at night, is a good listener, and can say his abc's and most of the letter sounds!

My 1 year old baby girl is sweet, sweet, sweet.

So even though it seems out of control sometimes, I have to remind myself that mothering is a job that is never done or over, I am the only one that can raise MY kids, and the legacy of my mothering will live on forever. I do miss the love of my life and am anxiously awaiting his return. Until then I will turn to a comforting cup of hot chai tea.